The moral of the story here is...always lie to the police.
The kid should've confirmed he was suicidal and gotten a five-day vacation in the mental hospital (which are pretty alright these days) on the tab of his insurance company. Now he's gotta pay a fine and do community service, most likely.
Alcoholics in detox and violent small children would've been what he had to look forward to, unless they keep him in intensive care with the real crazies. Either way, the brat comes out ahead.
