Clown let me tell you of a "man" named Satan. The accuser, the fallen one, the one who rebelled against motherfuckin' GOD son.
The Nine Satanic Statements
1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.
2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.
3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.
4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates.
5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires.
7. Satan represents humanity as just another animal species, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of its ?divine spiritual and intellectual development,? has become the most vicious species of all.
8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
9. Satan has been the best friend of the [Christian] Church has ever had, as it has kept it in business all these years.
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
3. When in another?s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6. Do not take that which does not belong to you, unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9. Do not harm little children.
10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.
and some random quotes
"LaVey proposes instead that as all gods are creations of humans, worship of an external deity is worship of its creator by proxy. He suggests, then, that the rational Satanists should instead internalize their gods and therefore worship themselves; hence the Satanic maxim, "I am my own god."
"its adherents define Satanism as a "Left-Hand Path" religion, rejecting traditional "Right-Hand Path" religions such as Christianity for their perceived denial of life and emphasis on guilt and abstinence."
INDULGE in life. Fuck all the girls you want. Don't guide your life by GUILT and ABSTINENCE. Fill your life with worldly pleasures because when you die everything will just fade away. Be your own God, worship your own life, not some ghost flying around in the stars.
BOOGYWOOGYWOOGY SATAN'S GONNA GIT YOU CLOWN
p.s. I'm not really a satanist or devil-worshipper.
