Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women
> are from Venus"? Here's a prime example offered
> by an English professor from the University of
> Phoenix:
>
> "Today we will experiment with a new form called
> the tandem story. The process is simple. Each
> person will pair off with the person sitting to
> his or
> her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of
> you will write the first paragraph of a short
> story.
>
> You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and
> send another copy to me. The partner will read the
> first paragraph and then add another paragraph to
> the story and send it back, also sending another
> copy to me. The first person will then add a third
> paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
>
> "Remember to re-read what has been written each
> time in order to keep the story coherent. There is
> to
> be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
> anything you
> wish to say must be written in the
> e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
> conclusion has been reached."
>
> The following was actually turned in by two of my
> English students:
> Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name
> deleted).
>
> THE STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
> she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
> favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
> her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
> times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she
> must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His
> possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her asthma started acting up
> again.
> So chamomile was out of the question.
>
>
-----------------------------------------------------------
> (second paragraph by Gary)
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris,
> leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over
> Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
> than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic
> bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one
> sweaty night over a year ago.
> "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into
> his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
> established. No sign of resistance so far..."
> But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
> flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
> his
> ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
> him
> flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
>
> (Rebecca)
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
> but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
> psychically
> brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings
> for him.
> Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
> hostilities towards
> the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
> Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
> Laurie
> read in her newspaper one morning. The news
> simultaneously
> excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> window, dreaming
> of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree,
> with no newspapers to read, no television to
> distract her from her
> sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
> things around her.
> "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a
> woman?"
> she pondered wistfully.
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Gary)
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10
> seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
> mothership
> launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles.
> The dim-witted
> wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
> disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
> Earth a
> defenceless target for the hostile alien empires
> who were
> determined to destroy the human race. Within two
> hours after
> the passage of the treaty t! he Anu'u drian ships
> were on course
> for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize
> the entire planet.
> With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
> their diabolical
> plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
> atmosphere unimpeded.
> The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
> headquarters on
> the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably
> massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
> Laurie and 85
> million other Americans. The President slammed his
> fist on the
> conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going
> to veto that treaty!
> Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery
> of literature.
> My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
> semi-literate
> adolescent.
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------
> (Gary)
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at writing are the literary
> equivalent
> of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or
> shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA???
> Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
> too many Danielle Steele novels!"
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> Asshole.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> (Gary)
> Bitch.
>
>
--------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> DICK!
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------
> (Gary)
> Slut.
>
>
---------------------------------------------------------
> (Rebecca)
> F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> (Gary)
> Go drink some tea - whore.
> **********************************************
> (TEACHER)
> A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an
> A.
