Lords of Death Forums Lords of Death Forums LoD General Discussion I'm Back. Who's Playing UO? Who's Into ICP?

What up, Turd Burglars?

Just got back to Colorado and just got my internet connection back. And by back I mean that I am sitting in my truck outside of a McDonalds. Man, I love this state. I missed it so much, but I had to bail after the whole Aurora, Colorado mess. That jackass lived in the same apartment building as me, and I couldn't risk the heat from the massive police presence. I had a sweet cook site set up with two choice Ionic Breezes set up to dissipate the chemical smells. Well they weren't actual Ionic Breezes, but they were the Walmart equivalent.

So anyway I had to take my business on the road. But the timing couldn't have been better, since the Gathering of the Juggalos was coming up and I had planned on attending like I do every year. In addition to the fact that I was sort of homeless once again, this year's GotJ was going to be special because it was going to be my son's first one. I recently got custody of him--he's 10, I think--when his whore mother fell out of the doorless Jeep she was driving while she tried to take a corner at 40 mph. Stupid bitch is all on life support now. I went to visit her in order to pick my son up from the child service agent and when no one was looking I spit into her unconscious cock-holster. Then I took her personal effects, which amounted to $22, an old cellphone, a Gameboy, and a couple buttons from a coat or something. Fuck her. Oh yeah, and I got her son too. My son.

We got out into the parking lot, and I helped him get into my truck. He's a little slow and needs help with some things, and he has this problem where he can't really use pronouns and shit right. For example, when he wants something, like a banana for instance, he'll say something like "him wanna baba." Whatever. Fuck it. It's not like it's my fault he's all fucked up. I haven't seen the little fucker since he was born and the doctors made him where some kind of fucked up football helmet because his head shape was "abnormal." So anyway we got up in the truck and I turned to him and said "Legolas, have you ever smoked meth?" He muttered something like "him no mama smo' him make baby sick." I took that for a yes and put a few pieces of glass into my pipe.

It must have been the stupid fucker's first time because he was all twitching and shaking and saying "him no mo him no mo" over and over. Kids nowadays are such pussies; I took my first hits of glass when I was like eight. That's just how my family rolls because we are badasses. I figured I had to toughen this kid up and quick. So he accompanied me to the Gathering of the Juggalos.

We drove straight through to Cave-In-Rock, Illinois. But when we got there, I realized I only had one ticket and that useless son of mine didn't have $150 to buy hisown ticket. I had about an ounce of meth, but I was going to need that later. What I needed then was a plan.

Some cop just drove twice through the McDonalds parking lot where I am typing this. I'm going to sign off for now and tell the rest of this story a little later.

So what UO servers are you guys on now? I might finally give in and accept membership to your guild. More later--here he comes again.

LOL. Can't tell if serious panemon is serious.

You got any of the Blue stuff?

welcome back "what appears to be the real panemon"

lol Legolas. Priceless.

OK. I’m at a different McDonalds. Screw cops, am I right?

One of the conditions you will need to meet before I accept membership to your guild is that Trance must be kicked out. The Blue Stuff? That’s TV. I’m all about reality. I used to regularly out duel Trance in pre-UOR. I’ll duel him right now on Hybrid or any other player-run shard, no potions, and no stun mage shit. And no dexers and no healing mages and no wands or magic jewelry and no magic resistance because that shit is for pussies. I used to roll over everyone on Baja with zero magic resistance. I never had time to macro on a boat because I was always creating new characters after getting banned over and over by power tripping GMs. Fucking GMs. I bet that cop rolling through the McDonalds parking lot is an out of work GM. Yeah, I’m still playing UO. So? It’s still the best game out there, a game where skill triumphs over stupid luck or purple gear. I’ll duel Trance any day. I’ve been practicing my combo timing and all Trance has been practicing is filling up his Snuggie with farts, apparently while he watches Breaking Bad instead of joining the rest of us in reality.

So that is one condition: kick out Trance. My other two conditions are one, that I am granted immediate Lord status, since I’ve technically put in the time already and I can out duel anyone Pre-UOR, no potions or poisoned weapons and no horse killing. And two, I get to handpick a group of four Adept-level guild members to serve as my strike team on Hybrid shard. Or on an official UO shard like Baja if that is easier.

I’m a little worked up because of Trance and his questioning me. Plus my Social Security Disability check hasn’t come in yet this week. I’ve had to drive past my mom’s trailer park every day this week looking for the check, and she is always looking out the damned window of her trailer. And when she sees my truck she comes running out the front door wearing nothing but a bathrobe and chases my truck down the road for a block or so. She lost a slipper the last time, and I was laughing so hard I almost hit some pussy kid who was riding a bike. I call him pussy because he was wearing a helmet. Wearing a helmet while riding a bike is like dueling while using potions. Time to grow up, fag.

OK. I’m going inside for a milkshake and fries. Be right back.

Win!

I'm so confused. Yet so happy.....

Your best line ever imo

I think Trance for pane mon is a fair trade. Somebody went through all the effort to post that wall of text and they failed at spelling the name correctly. It's the little details to make things authentic

i have no freaking idea who any of these people are anymore....